Some Sort of Mental Health Facility
Last week, the Melbourne Herald Sun reported that ‘Police are appealing for a man to turn himself in after another man was bashed to death with an iron bar in Albert Park.’ So, that can happen now, I thought; you can be walking through Albert Park in the middle of the day and be bashed to death by a random bloke with an iron bar. But no, reading on, the superbly named Det Sen Sgt Ron Iddles said of the alleged attacker, ‘We know who he is’ and revealed that the man he, Iddles, was looking for was ‘a former roommate of the dead man’.
So, this wasn’t a random attack. The two blokes knew each other. This was something that could have happened on Midsomer Murders. Surely even the stupidest Herald Sun reader could see that?
Apparently not.
The readers who have posted comments underneath this story on the newspaper’s website see things differently.
Welcome to the Bronx.
…says ‘Richie of Melbourne’. Or, as ‘Darren of a Sorry State’ calls it…
Victoria – The New Gotham City.
While ‘M of M’ adds…
Here we go!!….Australia just a few years behind BROKEN BRITAIN!!!
Now, I regularly visit Albert Park, and so far as I can see, the most dangerous thing that can happen is that you cop an earful of gibberish from a nutbag sitting on the bench outside Avenue Bookstore. But no, apparently it’s either the set of This is England or part of a fictional city overrun by costumed supervillains. Not that Batman is needed, when ‘Joshua from Upstairs’ is on the case…
There’s some sort of mental health facility not further than 20 metres from where the body still lays. Perhaps someone from said facility may be associated with the incident?
Sure, or maybe it was the former roommate of the victim, like the police said in the article you’ve just read! On the other hand, ‘Dave of Knox’ has identified the real culprits…
Thanks leftist non smaking do-gooders. Look at the failure of a generation you have raised.
I’m not sure whether ‘non smaking’ is meant to be ‘non smacking’ or ‘non smoking’. Either way, it is these same ‘do-gooders’ who, according to ‘AC of Yarraville’…
…will try and break the ‘cycle of violence and poverty’ that leads people to do such things with counseling and hugging….I would do it with a noose!
And, as ‘Wayne of Essendon’ points out, because of this reluctance to bust out the gallows…
You are allowed to do this in Melbourne. If you are arrested, and trialled you spend 18 months with friends in a facility where everything you couldn’t get on the outside is free, pay a small sum and/or do community service (fun).
Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s the penalty for murder. A small sum or (fun). And, as Wayne (mental) says, ‘everything you couldn’t get on the outside is free’. Like buggery and hepatitis. ‘Rob of Melbourne’ adds…
Luckily for the assailant he/she wasn’t doing 3k over the speed limit or they’d really be in trouble.
Either Rob has an axe to grind re. speeding tickets or he is suggesting that when the man was swinging the iron bar, he/she was travelling at a speed of sixty-eight kph, despite the fact that he/she was, as the article clearly states, on foot. Perhaps it is the threat of high-speed men of indeterminate gender belting up the street of this new Gotham that prompts ‘David Jones of Melbourne’ to say…
Disgusting. This is why I don’t venture out anywhere but to get groceries.
Because you might run into a former roommate bearing a grudge? Maybe you should venture out to that nearby ‘mental health facility’ and book yourself in. You won’t be the only one checking out. Things are so bad in ‘Fort Apache: Albert Park’ that ‘Sean of St Kilda is…
Finally leaving this hellhole in January.
Because, as ‘Daniel of Queensland’ says…
Melbourne is full of scumbags on the run! You are a city of scuambags!
Also fed up with all the scuam is ‘Ex Melbourne Lover of Brisbane’, who agrees that…
Melbourne is stuffed.
Largely because he was allegedly beaten up by…
a pack of Lebanese kickboxers.
Finally we come to the crux of the matter. This iron bar attack could have been avoided if only someone had listened to ‘A Smith of Third World Melbourne’, who advises the government to…
Send all immigrants from stone-throwing and third world countries back to where they came from…effective IMMEDIATELY.
And, as a result…
Unemployed (desperate for work) Aussie born and bred Anglos/Euros will finally secure jobs as they once again (back to pre-year 2000) regain No.1 priority.
So we eliminate these endless iron bar revenge murders in Albert Park, and solve the unemployment problem, simply by reversing immigration. And, for those still not convinced that race is relevant, ‘Rob of Somerville’ observes that the victim…
must not be an Indian student or they would have said so.
The final note of common sense is sounded by ‘Rysy of Balwyn’…
Simple fix – stop importing 90% of Melbourne’s problems. Can’t remember the last time I heard a ‘John Smith’ had been charged with aggreivated assault or murder.
***
The day after all these comments were posted, the police arrested the alleged attacker. His name is Benjamin Canham.
I haven’t bothered to check the comments to see whether anyone is calling for the hanging of the lead singer of Pseudo Echo.
Tony Martin is the Melbourne-based author of ‘A Nest of Occasionals’ and ‘Lolly Scramble’. Podcasts of his radio show ‘Get This’ are still available for free download at iTunes (type in: ‘Get This: Richard Marsland Lives’). He is currently directing new episodes of ABCTV's ‘The Librarians’.
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