Imagined Slights

by Avril Rolfe
February 03, 2010

Your Life’s Less Ordinary

Recently, I found out that someone I went to school with has become a novelist. Now, that would be perfectly acceptable to me if it weren’t for the fact that she has become a celebrated novelist. I had not been aware of this woman’s career trajectory, most likely because for several years I avoided reading the weekend papers. Now, though, I’m tackling the arts supplements again, and it seems that this sort of information is to be my reward.

On the morning in question, I was feeling vaguely satisfied with life; through a lucky accident, I’d just been handed a coffee larger than the size I had paid for; I had in my possession a second-hand copy of Vince Lovegrove’s Michael Hutchence: A Tragic Rock ‘n’ Roll Story – A Definitive Biography, which I was planning to devour that very afternoon; and, just the day before, I’d been praised for my work proofreading a book about sexual shenanigans in…

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Scarcely Relevant

by Tony Martin
February 03, 2010

Language Most Foul

Last week, I was involved in the taping of a television program where, for reasons no one could later explain, the talk soon turned to cock rings. While the resultant humour was perhaps not the finest recorded on the subject (it’s hard to top Mr Show’s commercial for the ‘Cock Ring Warehouse’), several big laughs were generated during an ensuing discussion about whether the phrase ‘cock ring’ could even be used in a ‘family timeslot’. I understand the subject is rarely broached during Packed to the Rafters.

These days, it’s hard to know exactly where the line is to be drawn. Back when I was in short pants, Graham Kennedy scandalised a nation with his infamous ‘crow call’ and was banned from live TV. Thirty years later, a massively successful children’s movie featured the constant repetition of the name ‘Farquaad’ and no one batted an…

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Boxhead

by Matt Quartermaine
February 03, 2010

Rich, Famous and Relaxed

For all you culture vultures missing the ABC Sunday arts programs, ABC2 is showing Inside the Actors Studio (6pm on Sundays), a program that comes from Pace University and is hosted by James Lipton, who interviews successful and accomplished actors, directors and writers, and shows excerpts of their work. Actors have assumed lofty positions in the entertainment industry, even though their skill is pretending to be someone they are not and mouthing a writer’s words. Unlike most celebrity interview shows, Inside the Actors Studio concentrates on the craft of the performer and it’s a welcome relief to hear actors talking about their profession, rather than postulating about world events.

James Lipton, writer, executive producer and host, is the dean of the Actors Studio Drama School, which gives acting degrees in association with the studio, which is famous for being the United States home of Method…

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Visiting Scrivener

Michael Witheford
February 03, 2010

Come Fly With Me: The Funny Side of Air Disasters

I really, really like aeroplanes. As a kid, I spent day after day building models of them, and identifying them and reading about them, but I’ve always thought that the most interesting thing about planes is that they sometimes stop flying at the worst possible moment; ie, quite suddenly, when they’re up in the air. The failures of aircraft to make it home is addressed with engrossing detail in my favourite telly program of all time, Air Crash Investigation.

ACI has got everything; horror, drama, thrills and spills, derring-do, technological mindfucks, forensic investigation, mystery, existential near-death (or genuine death) experiences, blind terror and, in one memorable case, a ghost popping into the galley to warn some stewardesses that their plane is an accident waiting, impatiently, to happen.

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